<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?><rss version="1.0"><channel><title>Diary of Uday Sodhi</title><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/</link><description>Diary of Uday Sodhi</description><language>en-us</language><item><title>Lonely on an island....</title><description><![CDATA[<PRE>Once upon a time, a man decided to vacation on a cruise shipin the Caribbean. </PRE><PRE>It was wonderful--the experience of his life!  </PRE><PRE>He was  waited upon hand and foot.  But, alas, it didnot last.  </PRE><PRE>A hurricane came up  suddenly and the ship wentdown. </PRE><PRE>The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on  the shore of an island.</PRE><PRE> There was nothing else anywhere to beseen.  </PRE><PRE>No  person, no supplies, nothing.The man looked around.  </PRE><PRE>There were some bananas and coconuts,but that  was it.  </PRE><PRE>He was desperate and forlorn, but decided tomake the best of it.   </PRE><PRE>So for the next four months he atebananas, drank coconut juice </PRE><PRE>and mostly looked to the seamightily for a ship to come to his rescue.</PRE><PRE>One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking  </PRE><PRE>for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner ofhis eye.  </PRE><PRE>Could it be  true, was it a ship?  </PRE><PRE>No, from aroundthe corner of the island came a  rowboat.  </PRE><PRE>In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen . . . or at least,  </PRE><PRE>within the past four months.  </PRE><PRE>She was tall and tanned, and her blond hair flowed  in the sea breeze, </PRE><PRE>giving her an almost ethe real quality.  </PRE><PRE>She spotted him  also (since he was waving and </PRE><PRE>yelling and screaming to get her attention),  </PRE><PRE>and she rowed herboat towards him.</PRE><PRE>In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from?  </PRE><PRE>How didy ou get  here?"</PRE><PRE>She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.  </PRE><PRE>I landed on this island when my cruise ship sank.</PRE><PRE>""Amazing", he said, </PRE><PRE>"I didn't know anyone else had survived.</PRE><PRE>How many  of you are there?  Where did you get the rowboat?</PRE><PRE>You must have been really  lucky to have a rowboat wash-up withyou.</PRE><PRE>""It is only me", she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up,</PRE><PRE>nothing  else did.""Well then", said the man, </PRE><PRE>"how did you get the rowboat?"</PRE><PRE>"I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island,"  replied the woman.  </PRE><PRE>"The oars were whittled from  Gumtree branches, and I wove  the bottom from Palm branches, </PRE><PRE>and the sides and stern came from a  Eucalyptus tree.</PRE><PRE>""But, but...," stuttered the man, </PRE><PRE>"what about tools and hardware, </PRE><PRE>how  did you do that?""Oh, no problem," replied the woman, </PRE><PRE>"on the south side ofthe island  there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rockexposed.  </PRE><PRE>I found that if I  fired it to a certain temperaturein my kiln, </PRE><PRE>it melted into forgeable  ductile iron.  I used that for tools, </PRE><PRE>then used the tools to make the  hardware.</PRE><PRE>""But, enough of that," she said, "where do you live?"  </PRE><PRE>Atlast the man  was forced to confess that he had been sleeping on the beach.</PRE><PRE>"Well, let's  row over to my place," she  said.</PRE><PRE>So they got into the rowboat and left  for her side of  island. </PRE><PRE>The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that  led to the approach to her place.  </PRE><PRE>She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. </PRE><PRE>They walked up a stone walk andaround a palm tree, </PRE><PRE>and  there stood an exquisite bungalowpainted in blue and white.  </PRE><PRE>"It's not  much," she said, "but Icall it home.  </PRE><PRE>Sit down, please.  </PRE><PRE>Would you like a drink?"</PRE><PRE>"No thanks," said  the man, "one more coconut juice and I will puke.</PRE><PRE>""It won't be coconut juice, the woman replied. </PRE><PRE>"I have astill; how  about a Pina Colada?"  </PRE><PRE>Trying to hide his continue damazement, </PRE><PRE>the man  accepted, and they sat down on her couch totalk. </PRE><PRE>After a while, when they had  exchanged their stories,</PRE><PRE>the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?"</PRE><PRE>"No", the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life,even on the  cruise ship".</PRE><PRE>"Well if you would like to shave, there's a razor upstairs inthe  cabinet in the bathroom.</PRE><PRE>" The man, no longer questioninganything, went upstairs  to the bathroom.  </PRE><PRE>In the cabinet was arazor made from a bone handle, </PRE><PRE>with two shells honed to ahollow-ground edge fastened to its end inside of a  swivelmechanism.  </PRE><PRE>The man shaved, showered and went back downstairs."You look great," said the woman, </PRE><PRE>"I think I'll go up andslip into  something more comfortable."  </PRE><PRE>The man settled in towait, continuing to sip his  Pina Colada.  </PRE><PRE>After a short time,the woman returned wearing strategically positioned fig leaves</PRE><PRE>and smelling faintly of gardenia."Tell me something," she said, </PRE><PRE>"We have both been out herefor a very  long time with no companionship.  </PRE><PRE>You know what I mean.  Have you been  lonely?  </PRE><PRE>Is there anything that youreally miss?  </PRE><PRE>Something that all men and woman  need?</PRE><PRE>Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"</PRE><PRE>"Yes there is," the man replied, moving closer to the woman</PRE><PRE>while  fixing her with a long, intense gaze.</PRE><PRE><EM>"Tell me... Do you  happen to have an internet connection?"</EM></PRE><PRE><STRONG><FONT size=4>Join the community of Indian Internet Professionals</FONT></STRONG>: <A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/" target=_self>Click Here</A></PRE>]]></description><pubDate>Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:29:47 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/23/Lonely-on-an-island.html</link></item><item><title>Thank God Microsoft is not into Restaurants..</title><description><![CDATA[<P>If restaurants functioned like Microsoft....<BR><BR>Patron:  Waiter!<BR><BR>Waiter:  Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems<BR>         to be the problem?<BR><BR>Patron:  There's a fly in my soup!<BR><BR>Waiter:  Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.<BR><BR>Patron:  No, it's still there.<BR><BR>Waiter:  Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a<BR>         fork instead.<BR><BR>Patron:  Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.<BR><BR>Waiter:  Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl<BR>         are you using?<BR><BR>Patron:  A SOUP bowl!<BR><BR>Waiter:  Hmmm, that should work.  Maybe it's a configuration problem; how<BR>         was the bowl set up?<BR><BR>Patron:  You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the<BR>         fly in my soup?!<BR><BR>Waiter:  Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in<BR>         your soup?<BR><BR>Patron:  I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!<BR><BR>Waiter:  Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?<BR><BR>Patron:  You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??<BR><BR>Waiter:  Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.<BR><BR>Patron:  Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?<BR><BR>Waiter:  The current Soup of the Day is tomato.<BR><BR>Patron:  Fine.  Bring me the tomato soup, and the check.  I'm running late<BR>         now.<BR><BR>Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.<BR><BR>Waiter:  Here you are, Sir.  The soup and your check.<BR><BR>Patron:  This is potato soup.<BR><BR>Waiter:  Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.<BR><BR>Patron:  Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.<BR><BR>Waiter leaves.<BR><BR>Patron:  Waiter!  There's a gnat in my soup!<BR><BR><EM>The check:<BR><BR>Soup of the Day ................................... $5.00<BR>Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day .................. $2.50<BR>Access to support ................................. $1.00<BR></EM><BR><BR>Join <A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/" target=_self>Indiaweb</A> community to get latest updates from the Internet space.</P><P><EMBED pluginspage=http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer src=http://static.ning.com/IndiaWeb/widgets/index/swf/badge.swf?v=3.3.6%3A5526 width=206 height=104 type=application/x-shockwave-flash flashvars="networkUrl=http%3A%2F%2Findiaweb.ning.com%2F&amp;panel=network_small&amp;configXmlUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.ning.com%2FIndiaWeb%2Finstances%2Fmain%2Fembeddable%2Fbadge-config.xml%3Ft%3D1214040726" allowScriptAccess="always" bgcolor="#ffffff" wmode="transparent" salign="lt" scale="noscale" quality="high"> <BR><SMALL><A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/">Visit <EM>IndiaWeb</EM></A></SMALL><BR><BR></P>]]></description><pubDate>Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:01:06 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/23/Thank-God-Microsoft-is-not-into-Restaurants.html</link></item><item><title>What an amazing mobile phone...</title><description><![CDATA[<P><FONT color=#3366ff>What a phone.........must see.</FONT></P><P><STRONG><FONT color=#ff0000>Nice video of Steve Jobs launching the iPhone 3G</FONT></STRONG>. <A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/video/video/show?id=2104118:Video:426" target=_self>Click Here </A></P><P> <EMBED pluginspage=http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer src=http://static.ning.com/IndiaWeb/widgets/index/swf/badge.swf?v=3.3.5%3A5502 width=206 height=104 type=application/x-shockwave-flash quality="high" scale="noscale" salign="lt" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#ffffff" allowScriptAccess="always" flashvars="networkUrl=http%3A%2F%2Findiaweb.ning.com%2F&amp;panel=network_small&amp;configXmlUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.ning.com%2FIndiaWeb%2Finstances%2Fmain%2Fembeddable%2Fbadge-config.xml%3Ft%3D1213099178"> <BR><SMALL><A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/">Visit <EM>IndiaWeb</EM></A></SMALL><BR></P><P> </P>]]></description><pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:01:31 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/06/12/What-an-amazing-mobile-phone.html</link></item><item><title>Kagaz ki Kashti</title><description><![CDATA[<P><OBJECT height=355 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/EB7ih3X4C9M&amp;rel=0"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EB7ih3X4C9M&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></OBJECT></P><P><EMBED pluginspage=http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer src=http://static.ning.com/IndiaWeb/widgets/index/swf/badge.swf?v=3.2%3A4925 width=206 height=104 type=application/x-shockwave-flash flashvars="networkUrl=http%3A%2F%2Findiaweb.ning.com%2F&amp;panel=network_small&amp;configXmlUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.ning.com%2FIndiaWeb%2Finstances%2Fmain%2Fembeddable%2Fbadge-config.xml%3Ft%3D1211368553" allowScriptAccess="always" bgcolor="#ffffff" wmode="transparent" salign="lt" scale="noscale" quality="high"> <BR><SMALL><A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/">Visit <EM>IndiaWeb</EM></A></SMALL><BR></P><P> </P>]]></description><pubDate>Mon, 12 May 2008 16:12:35 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/12/Kagaz-ki-Kashti-1.html</link></item><item><title>Kabhi Yoon Bhi to ho - Jagjit Singh Gazal</title><description><![CDATA[<P><OBJECT height=355 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/3-6Iv_Cy_mQ&amp;rel=0"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3-6Iv_Cy_mQ&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></OBJECT></P><P><EMBED pluginspage=http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer src=http://static.ning.com/IndiaWeb/widgets/index/swf/badge.swf?v=3.2%3A4925 width=206 height=104 type=application/x-shockwave-flash flashvars="networkUrl=http%3A%2F%2Findiaweb.ning.com%2F&amp;panel=network_small&amp;configXmlUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.ning.com%2FIndiaWeb%2Finstances%2Fmain%2Fembeddable%2Fbadge-config.xml%3Ft%3D1211368553" allowScriptAccess="always" bgcolor="#ffffff" wmode="transparent" salign="lt" scale="noscale" quality="high"> <BR><SMALL><A href="http://indiaweb.ning.com/">Visit <EM>IndiaWeb</EM></A></SMALL><BR></P>]]></description><pubDate>Mon, 12 May 2008 16:07:46 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/05/12/Kabhi-Yoon-Bhi-to-ho-Jagjit-Singh-Gazal.html</link></item><item><title>Secret of Joy - nice video</title><description><![CDATA[<OBJECT height=355 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/phL0RLKL8bc&amp;rel=0&amp;border=0"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/phL0RLKL8bc&rel=0&border=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"width="425" height="355"></embed></OBJECT>]]></description><pubDate>Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:49:27 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/02/21/Secret-of-Joy-nice-video.html</link></item><item><title>Jagjit Singh Prem Geet</title><description><![CDATA[<OBJECT height=373 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/73k7ATGd_Hs&amp;rel=1&amp;border=1"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/73k7ATGd_Hs&rel=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="373"></embed></OBJECT>]]></description><pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:06:13 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/01/18/Jagjit-Singh-Prem-Geet.html</link></item><item><title>Jagjit Singh Tum Ko Dekha</title><description><![CDATA[<OBJECT height=373 width=425><PARAM NAME="movie" VALUE="http://www.youtube.com/v/WNtDuocOlLk&amp;rel=1&amp;border=1"><PARAM NAME="wmode" VALUE="transparent"><BR><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WNtDuocOlLk&rel=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="373"></embed></OBJECT>]]></description><pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:04:40 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2008/01/18/Jagjit-Singh-Tum-Ko-Dekha.html</link></item><item><title>Letter to Bill Gates</title><description><![CDATA[<FONT face=Arial color=#333333> </FONT><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'">Dear Mr. Bill Gatesa,</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #333333; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p></SPAN><P><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"><BR>This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for<BR>our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.<BR><BR>1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and<BR>whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******<BR>appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we<BR>face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor<BR>Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.<BR><BR>Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request<BR>you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.<BR><BR>2. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you<BR>to check this.<BR><BR>3. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has<BR>ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we<BR>can click that by sitting.<BR><BR>4. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only<BR>'re-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.<BR><BR>5. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the<BR>door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',but unable<BR>to trace. Is it a bug??<BR><BR>6. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS'<BR>playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.<BR><BR>7. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft<BR>sentence', so when u will provide that?<BR><BR>8. I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad lekhin there is only one icon<BR>with 'MY Computer', remaining ka kya huwa?<BR><BR>9. Are ye to kamal hai, windows says 'MY Pictures' lekhin there is not even<BR>single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.<BR><BR>10. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the<BR>PC at home only.<BR><BR>From:</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="COLOR: #333333; FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial','sans-serif'"> </SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: gray; FONT-FAMILY: 'Comic Sans MS'"><BR>Banta Singh,<BR>Punjab</SPAN><SPAN lang=EN-US> <o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>]]></description><pubDate>Thu, 22 Nov 2007 10:16:52 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/11/22/Letter-to-Bill.html</link></item><item><title>Amazing Punjabis</title><description><![CDATA[<P><FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><STRONG>This was forwarded to me on email.......list out the characteristics of PUNJABIs. Being a Punjabi myself...I found this hilarious and almost true :-) . </STRONG></FONT></P><BR><DIV><FONT style="BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffcccc" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><STRONG>ABC OF PUNJABIS</STRONG></FONT></DIV><BR><DIV><BR><FONT face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> A is for Adjust, Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they<BR> want to push you around.<BR><BR> B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum, it is an<BR> instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or <BR> whatever.<BR><BR> C is for cloney and its first name is not George nor is it a process<BR> for replicating sheep it is an area where people live eg. Dfence<BR> cloney.<BR><BR> E is for expanditure and believe me Punjabis are not scared of <BR> spending money the latest cars, marble floors, their ambitions are<BR> always expanding.<BR><BR> F is for fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is<BR> actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, <BR> of course).<BR><BR> G is for Gaddi and the way a Punjabi can pilot a car puts any F1<BR> driver to shame, if the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way<BR> Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder and <BR> Sukhvinder.<BR><BR> H is for Ho Jayega, the moment you hear that, you have to be very<BR> careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen.<BR><BR> I is for Intezaar to know more about it see P. <BR><BR> J is for Jindagi and if there's one person who knows how to live life<BR> to the full it's a Punjabi.<BR><BR> K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses<BR> ie, keeping up with the Khuranas. <BR><BR> L is for Lovely but she never is. Nor is Sweety.<BR><BR> M is for Mrooti the car that moved an entire Punjabi generation.<BR><BR> N is for No problem ji - to find out how that works see H.<BR><BR> O is for Oye which can be surprise (oyye!), a hailing (oyy), anger <BR> (OYY) or pain (oy oy oy).<BR><BR> P is for Panch minit and no matter how near (1 km) or far a Punjabi is<BR> from you (100 km) they usually say they'll reach you in panch minit.<BR><BR> Q is for Queue for which there's really no word in Punjabi. <BR><BR> R is for Riks and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if<BR> the odds are against them.<BR><BR> S is for Sweetie, Bunty, Pappu and Sonu who seem to own half the cars in <BR>Delhi.<BR><BR> T is for the official bird of Punjab Tandoori chicken. <BR><BR> U is for when U lose your sex appeal and become 'Uncle' ji.<BR><BR> V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.<BR><BR> W is War on the roads.<BR><BR> X is x-rated words they flow freely in casual conversations on the street. <BR><BR> Y is 'You nonsense', anger replacing vocabulary in a shouting match. And<BR><BR> Z is for Zig zag for which you should see G, M and P.</FONT></DIV><BR><DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV><BR><DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0><BR><TBODY><BR><TR><BR><TD><A href="http://www.shirtmagic.com/" target=_blank alt="t-shirts"><BR><SCRIPT language=javascript type=text/javascript><BR>document.write("<img src='http://mxcounters.com/counter2.php?i=3530"+data+"' border='0' alt='t-shirts' border=0>");<BR></SCRIPT><BR><NOSCRIPT><img src='http://mxcounters.com/counter2.php?i=3530' border='0' alt='t-shirts' border=0></NOSCRIPT></A></TD></TR><BR><TR><BR><TD><A href="http://www.mxcounters.com/" target=_blank alt="free counters"><IMG alt="free counters" src="http://mxcounters.com/sponsor2.php?i=3530" border=0></A><A href="http://mxcounters.com/stats2.php?i=3530" target=_blank><IMG src="http://mxcounters.com/images/stats.jpg" border=0></A></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></FONT></DIV>]]></description><pubDate>Wed, 12 Sep 2007 12:49:03 +0530</pubDate><link>http://me.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/12/Amazing.html</link></item></channel></rss>